Rewards and Praise, Wait… I have been doing it wrong!? | Trail Martial Arts
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Jeff Holm reviewed Trail Martial Arts
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I've been a student here for about 6 months now, and I was afraid this was going to be an intimidating experience. Wow was it ever not! The staff are really friendly, and all of the other students are supportive of one another. This is a great place to build up some self esteem, burn off some fat, and meet some new friends!

Pamela Worsnop reviewed Trail Martial Arts
5
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Trail Martial Arts has really built up my children’s self esteem and encouraged them to take leadership roles by using a fun positive environment.

Jessica Hendriksen reviewed Trail Martial Arts
5
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Started doing the fitness kickboxing class in January. Been at it for almost 6 months the and I love it! I have more energy than I have ever had! I've lost fat and built muscle! I love it!

Colleen Dohms Lohner reviewed Trail Martial Arts
5
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Trail Martial Arts is an amazing place. Our whole family is a part of what they do! We have benefited from the programs greatly. The staff are amazing! I highly recommend them!

Emily Kogan-Young reviewed Trail Martial Arts
5
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A really great, intense and fun workout for getting in shape and stress relief!

Keri Peters reviewed Trail Martial Arts
5
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I’m amazed at the progress my child has made in less than a year with her confidence and physical awareness. It’s a great sport and the instructors are awesome with capturing the kids attention and teaching them skills.

Janette Holtzman reviewed Trail Martial Arts
5
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4 of my kids are in the martial arts program so far. They have gained knowledge in physical fitness and defense, skills that will trickle into all aspects of their lives, and developed social skills as well. I can't say enough good things about this program and the instructors that run it! The instructors are patient, encouraging, and take the time to work on individual improvements. The kids are always excited to get to their next level of belt testing, and a recent goal I've heard from one of them is that they are determined to get their black belt. A wonderful goal to have! The instructors put on even more, extra activities that the kids love and the whole family can enjoy. Absolutely love Trail Martial Arts!

Kerilyn Stephens reviewed Trail Martial Arts
5
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My daughter (who is 3) has just begun at Trail Martial Arts and I'm already all in! The staff has been so welcoming and patient with my reluctant ninja and have brought her out of her shell. She told me yesterday that "Josh is my best friend!" An amazing place!

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Rewards and Praise, Wait… I have been doing it wrong!?

Article 4

 

Rewards and Praise, Wait… I have been doing it wrong!?

 

We have all done it, we all still might do it. Rewarding or bribing our kids to do what we want them to. The only problem is… are we sending the right message? What happens when they go into the real world?

 

The first problem is when we offer rewards for expected behaviour, this is sending a strange and underlying message that if they are good, they get something in return. Which eventually turns into… “what’s in it for me” or “that reward is not good enough for me to behave”.

 

The second is the way we praise. I just read an example that blew my mind. If a teacher says “I love boys and girls who do their work” this will motivate the kids because of the reward of pleasing the teacher. But the underlying message is, if you don’t do your work… the teacher won’t love you, or like you, maybe even will abandon you. Crazy right!? It’s like a passive aggressive way to guilt someone into doing what you want.

 

In summary, the way we praise can also make a significant impact on our relationships with our kids and students. When you are offering praise, you should consider making the shift into acknowledgments instead. The main distinction is that you remove yourself from the equation.

 

For example, when you are praising someone you start with “I”

“I like the way your handled that”, “I appreciate you doing that”, “your mother and I are proud of how treated your brother”. The problem with this is the underlying tone once again. If they don’t do the things we ask, then we won’t “like them”, “love them”, “be proud of them”.

 

So instead we have to change it do “good job for doing that”, “you treated your brother very nicely”.

 

This one is going to be a struggle for me! Give it a shot and see what kind of result you get!

 

Thanks for reading

 

Jason Ayles