Telling Vs Asking | Trail Martial Arts
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Telling Vs Asking

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ARTICLE 5
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Telling Vs Asking

As a parent, we often resort to telling our kids what to do. If they don’t do what we want them to do, we tell them louder.

The problem with this strategy is that it harbours resentment, if someone you have a close relationship with tells you to do something (demands not asks), how does it make you feel? I know for me it can cause a wave of frustration instantly. Think of it like this, if someone “told” you that you were getting married, that would feel a lot different than being asked.

Alright, so we established that telling someone what to do does not work as effectively as asking. Now we need some strategies on how to ask rather then tell, even when we get frustrated and want to tell louder.

1. Offer choices: the freedom of choice fosters responsibility and pride. Ask your kids to complete their tasks and give them options on how to complete them. With help, without help, one hand behind their back (have fun with it too)
2. Ask reflective and self-evaluating questions will prompt the correct behaviour. Rather than telling the kids to clean up the play room, ask them how the play room should look or how can we make the playroom more organized.

Give it a shot and let me know if you are getting less resistance! I tried a couple strategies this morning and it worked pretty good!

Thanks for reading!